Being Two Faced

Hey. Hi. Hello! It’s Monday night and I’m BURNT OUT. I had to get my ass up at 5 o’clock in the morning in order to get to work at 6, and my day STILL ISN’T OVER. But, this is the hustle I chose for myself so I just have to keep grinding. However, I just wanted to get all of that out into the open because this post is going to be shitty and really not the greatest. In fact, as I’m typing this right now I literally have no idea what I’m going to write about…but I gotta run out the door and head back to work for a hot second, so hopefully I can come back with a brilliant idea. Please Hold.

HELLO. I’m back bitches, and honestly, I didn’t think of a single thing to write about because I was too busy GETTING MY FIRST CLIENT. You read that right, ya girl finally has her first client after grinding for the last three weeks on the floor. I mean, I still have to work the floor but this means I’m just one step closer to NOT having to work the floor. Anyway, I don’t know what to write about, so I’m going to write about the first make-up related thing that pops into my head.

TODAY, I had to be at the gym at 6 AM IN THE MORNING. Usually, I like to wear makeup to work because it makes me feel normal and confident and ready to take on the day, and frankly just more approachable. However, for today that sure as shit was not happening. in order for me to do my makeup, I need at least 30 minutes, which means I would’ve needed to wake up at 4:30 AM. NO THANK YOU. So instead I woke up, did my morning skincare, filled in my eyebrows, and walked out the door to work.

I’m lucky in that I wear glasses, and pretty big ones, which detract from the fact that I’m not wearing makeup. Most people don’t even notice when I’m wearing makeup or not because most of my makeup is concentrated around my eyes, which are not emphasized when I wear glasses. However, today, one of the guys I worked with asked if I wasn’t wearing makeup. This was only the second time in my life when someone has actually noticed I wasn’t wearing makeup. I asked how he noticed and he said, “There’s just something about the way you carry yourself.”

Now, I didn’t get caught up in that comment because I’m sure he’s right. But, it is interesting to think about the differences in how people carry themselves when they wear makeup versus when they don’t. I don’t think I was dragging my feet along the ground keep my head down, but I definitely felt like I was hiding behind my glasses. Even though I’m now not in an industry where I’m judged for my appearance, I still feel like I’m my best self when I have a full face of makeup on, and that’s ok. I’ve long said that makeup instills a big sense of confidence in a lot of people because it allows them to hide their insecurities.

I don’t necessarily notice how I act in makeup and without it because honestly the last few years I’ve gotten more comfortable with not wearing makeup (i.e there have been some nights when I didn’t wear it out to bars) but I’m sure subconsciously I carry myself differently. And I’m sure everyone does the same thing. It’s sometimes hard to look at ourselves in the mirror with our normal skin when we can compare ourselves to the way we look all dolled up. I’m sure I’m going somewhere with this, but my brain stopped functioning around 2:30 today and I’m running on fumes. SO, I’m gonna go take a shower and pass out for hopefully the next 12 hours. Until next time, xoxo.


*Thank you to the talented Rebecca Blair for the featured artwork in this post*


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