Meh. I cannot be bothered to even type my usual intro for these posts because I am IN A FUNK. I have no energy for my usual pep today. Yes, it’s finally Friday, but my week isn’t over. Because I’ll be in Orlando next weekend for Alumni Weekend, I’m working every day for the next week, and I’m already drained. SO, because I need to talk about myself, that’s what I’m going to do today. However, I’m going to try and make it relevant, especially to anyone thinking about pursuing careers in the fitness world.
Back in January when I was trying to figure my life out, I thought fitness was what I wanted to do. Well, I mean I was still on the fence about cosmetics, but honestly, I think I was so discouraged by the fact that out of over 100 applications I’ve sent out within that industry, I only heard back from one company for an INTERNSHIP. Yes, I know we all need to start somewhere, but it’s discouraging none the less. So, I reassessed everything that I liked and every opportunity that was in front of me, and I decided fitness was my new path.
Why did I choose fitness? Well, I’ve always been active growing up. Then, when I got into college, I started working out because 1. I started to hate the way my body looked and 2. I needed an outlet. I crammed a lot of courses into for years of school, and I needed to find a healthy way to deal with all the stress on a daily basis. Sure, going out with my friends was fun, but not sustainable outside of the weekends. So, I got a trainer, looked up fitness apps, and really started to work on myself.
Over time, I started to develop a huge passion for fitness and motivating others to do so. I felt I became happier and was really just loving life. My friends were the first ones to recommend I look into becoming a personal trainer, and so when I moved to the city after graduation, I looked into online programs in my attempts to avoid the fact that I was so lonely here. I completed the course and there I was, an intern for a luxury jewelry company with a personal training certification.
Honestly, if I could go back in time, I would never have accepted that job at the gym. But, I’m a person who lives by no regrets, and I’m going to continue to do so. Ultimately I chose this job for two reasons. One was the discouragement I felt from the cosmetics company, and two was the hatred I carried for traditional work environments after my internship ended. I didn’t want to work a 9-5 at a desk being told what to do. I wanted to be out in the world grinding away and learning skills that the personal trainer business could teach me. Or, at least I thought that’s what I wanted.
But, now here we are. Two months into this personal training job, and if I’m being 100% honest here (Dad you’ll love this), I hate it. I enjoy the people I work with, and I think that’s part of the reason why I’m still hanging on. But, other than that, it’s not for me. I don’t wake up with the same enthusiasm for working out as I used to. I don’t feel excited to get into the gym and motivate others to work out and live their best life. In fact, I’ve found myself dreading it. My happy place has turned into a nightmare. I haven’t even been able to get myself to work out in days, and I feel lazy.
I feel disheartened and relatively depressed. Now, I don’t know if I can necessarily blame my workplace, but it obviously has something to do with it. I’ve mentioned it before but the gym I’m at isn’t getting a lot of new traffic. On top of that, it’s mostly males who don’t respect me at all. How am I supposed to be successful when I’m surrounded by individuals who try to hit on me more than they try to seek me out for professional advice. It’s frustrating walking in there every day with the same knowledge as my coworkers, but being viewed as less-than because of how I look.
So, ultimately if I had one piece of advice for anyone out there, it would be to never mix business with pleasure unless you’re absolutely certain it’s what you want. Of course, there may be no way for you to know that’s what you want until you actually try it and make the same mistakes I’m doing. I thought this is what I wanted, but now I know it’s not. Maybe it’ll be something I work on further down the road once I’m actually happy, but for now, I’m starting to feel miserable again like at my last job, except this time it’s happened after two months, not six.
Maybe it’s the job, maybe it’s the city, or maybe it’s just me. Whatever it is, I’m going to start pursuing the fashion and cosmetics worlds again. Yes, it’ll definitely make my parents happy which will be nice, but hopefully, it’ll make me happy as well. There’s only one way to find out. So, until next time, xoxo.